sad cat
My Goals for this website:
Chuu's Day (≧▽≦) (tw: venting and other things you know)
05.12.22: My class is doing a big trip to a foreign country so that we practice speaking in other languages. The thing is that we are going to be put in guest families always with two people from our class. And since I just recently came to that new school i know nobody... and they kinda don't like me. I'm always so stupid lonely I can't be in any friend group. Also in my class there are 90% just boys....... and I don't like them and they also don't like me. I don't want to go to this trip. I would rather go to school at that time. But money is also a problem ,my parents tell me they are ok with the cost but why should i go there just to be the only one that isn't enjoying herself. I don't know what to do. help. I'm terrible in talking and making friends :( I just hope tomorrow will be a better day.... (sad) Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
06.12.22: Sadly I can't work this week and next week on my website bcs of school(Ｔ▽Ｔ) I really need to get better in Math... Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
08.12.22: Will school ever give me break!?!?! Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
18.12.22: I can finaly continue my work here (＾▽＾) I will have now time to learn some coding bcs I've got no idea how this works... I've been thinking how to decorated this site but how I said I'VE GOT NO IDEA HOW TO CODE (╥_╥) Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
08.01.23: happy new year!! I spend that night alone hearing music until 12pm. I was sadly sick for a whole week and now I spended my days doing nothing.... tomorrow is school for me and I'm scared i didn't talked to a person for one week straight and I kinda forgot how to use words? School is gonna be so stressful i've got a math exam soon and I'm stressing. But this is how life is.... on christmas I got a cat calender! I went to my local kpop and anime stuff shop and bought a lot from the money i got from my birthdays and so. ok i wrote everything what I wanted to say (even though nobody reads it) Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
21.01.23: SO SORRYY I DIDN'T UPDATED NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE. Istg school is stressing me out. I was supposed to learn right now for my math exam but I just feel like doing other things. I hope someday i can have time learning coding bcs this website needs a new look. Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
12.02.23: Why am I so bad in updating. I forget to write something here everyday. Anyways I found out that the girls from my class don't like me. Tbh I don't know what to do now. I really like to learn something in school but i hate to wake up i hate being alone at lunch and breaks. I don't speak the whole day in school. I really start to think that my high school years will be hell for me.... I always sit alone nobody wants to go near me. In my old school people told me that I'm scary looking they compared me with awful people, said that i look like a ghost. I don't know what to do man. I've been getting not alot of sleep lately and because of this I keep seeing creatures or humans that aren't actually there. I don't know how I want to continue.... I will continue using this website as my vent. Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
14.02.23: Happy Valentines Day!! Today is valentine I didn't remebered until i saw on my way to school a girl with flowers. Valentines day is not really a special day for me since I don't have friends in school. I don't know. Maybe I will stay forever invisible. Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
13.03.23: Hiii sorry for not writing but so much has been on my mind these days. I can't concentrate at all these days and I've been panicking about it. I can't get homework done.... how am I suppose to do?!?! I was fine this half year and now everything is gone I just really want to cry. What am I suppose to do!?!? I'm so scared failing my classes. I've been so lonley these days. I only missed one day at school and they changed seats now I sit in front of the teacher in a corner. I feel so unconnected. I just feel so down I've got nobody to tell. My physical state is also bad... everyday headaches and i feel so tired and I've been stress eating alot (gaining weight) I feel so lonley I don't want to live anymore. Right now my head is hurting so much and I have to work. If i don't score good I don't know how to keep me alive. The only place I've got to write this is this littel stupid page.... I hope you "guys" are having a nice week Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
28.03.23: Today i wrote my German exam and I fck up. I spend so much time in learning but at the test i forgot everything... I almost cried and i was the last one writing my exam bcs I needed much more time that i thought. Man last week my teacher had praised me for being so good in her class even though i just joined this year. Now she will think bad about me... she is very nice tbh i don't know why my classmates hate her she feels almost like a mother (i don't want to be weird) i sit next to the window and she wanted to open the window and she protected my head by putting her hand on my head. I almost cried... Why am I so weird. I feel so free after the exam but also stressed again. Everything is so scary... I don't want to live... I've got nobody to talk to in school and outside. How long will this last? Have a nice week. Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
15.04.23: Man in two days I've got school again. I was soo HAPPY being here at home these two weeks of vacation :( I got some really cool headphones for my birthday! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I LIKE HEARING TO MUSIC OMG LIKE THESE HEADPHONES WERE THE MISSING PIECE IN MY LIFE!!!! So i spend the whole day hearing music. I had a birthday party... because my parents wanted that i met my (old school) friends for my birthday. I know thats really nice but the thing was me and my "friends" aren't that close... and I basicaly lie around my parents that I'm always chatting with them .... they don't know anything about my life here in the internet lol. One time I met a friend adnd I was kinda exciting so i told my mom but then when I was waiting half a hour outside I called her and she told me she forgot about it... man I was so sad I almost cried public so i went to the nearest public toilet but on the way my I met my mom... so i told her "My friend said we should met somewhere else! I'm on my way there now! Bye!" and ran to the toilet and cried for a hour (that was so embarassing I tried to cry in silence but it hurted so much) So when my "friends" where there they didn't talked and it was just embarassing so i tried to my best to communicate (Ｔ▽Ｔ) They left very early...! At least i got some present! Anyways it was fun spending my time in my room now it's time for me to go to school soon.. I wish "you" guys have next week a nice school week! Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
26.05.23: I'M BACKKK!!! Well I've got holidays for two weeks and I really wanted to learn coding really bad! I wanted maybe to start a new project! You know it's kinda embarassing but my fav character is ritsu sakuma from enstars so thought of.... never mind. Anyways I really want to make this place my personal diary since I find diary entrys on the internet are better than me writing it on some paper but yeah. My life was misable I think I was even worser these weeks but my special interesses makes me happy (i think I wrote interese wrong) I thought about making me some cute keychains! I love keychain I collect cute ones or make it myself! I wanted to make me a special hairclip also! ^^ Just thinking about it makes me SOO HAPPY but.... I will defently will not complete all these things... I always make myself so happy with these thoughts... I just can't make them true....I will defently just destroy my holidays like always... sitting... waiting... waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... staring... rotting... I also want to mention that I totally hate summer sometimes i just wish someone could just st*b the sun HOW LONG DO WE NEED TO LIVE LIKE THISSS Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!
30.10.23: Long time no see. Well at least It's autumn and the sun doesn't go on my nerves anymore. Remeber when I talked about the school trip I had to go? The trip was not that bad I was allowed to be with some friends from another class during the trip so I ignored my actual class. A new school year has already started and I still haven't learned to code and my website looks still the same... AY BUT TBH WHERE AM I SUPPOSE TO LEARN HOW TO CODE?!?!?!?! Yeah anyways school life didn't changed I was not able to make friends in my class. But I made a friend with a girl from another class we have almost the same interess in kpop and anime! I always go to her house when we have Chinese class at noon because her house is near the school. We also met and went walking around the city! I have now holidays but I'm so afraid to ask her to meet again (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) I don't know why I always talk like I'm speaking infront of a large audience even tho nobody reads this blog man Chuu (^з^)-☆Chu!!